Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Today is one of those days when I just wish I could go and hide up under the bed the Sun has come up and the lights of day have invaded my room reminding me that it is time to rise and shine. So I rose and my day is full of questions I ask myself what it is I need to do and what should I do? i can't call anyone because they are all at work or tending to their own daily duties. So I sit in silence hoping,praying, on my day. I've realized that when things are good its easy to be happy and smile but when things are slow not necessarily bad it a bit harder to move forward and thats when you must triumphant even more on those days. I have gotten to a point were I just want my stuff I pray and fight and fight and pray and I know God hears me but its just some days its easier to carry the load than others I know he has it in store for me but its just the waiting that takes it toll and the believing that no matter what its seems like this is not the final say so I am determined to push past the fear of the unknown and keep my mind and faith elevated towards the Most High because I come too far and I know he has never left me or forsaken me so I will trust and continue to lean and just called on his name because has loves me and he has me so pushing is what I am doing I am pushing, like a mother giving birth to a new child I am birthing my breakthrough I am going to push, push, and keep pushing past the pain because I know that the wait has not been in vain and I am giving birth to greatness, success, and all the desires of my heart. So my advice to those who read this is to keep pushing and keep hoping and know that Now faith is substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things un seen. Its going to come to past for me and I will know who,what, and where it all came from thank you God!!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
I am sitting in the waiting room waiting on the breakthrough news I do not know what to expect But I know what it is I want my heart is racing my the anticipation of waiting. I know that at this point its going to take faith to get me through this even if its the faith of a mustard . I have my mind set that no matter what there is no going backwards for me. I am waiting on the outcome the verdict as I go through the surgery of life and the incisions of ups and downs I am still convinced that in the end I will be much better than I was before. I have my family waiting for me and they are cheering know that once I leave the ER of life's trials and tribulations I will have yet to give all the glory and honor to God. The Doctor is so full of science he reminds me of doubt you know with all the talk of the should a, could a, would a, but I am not worried. In the waiting room I know that is the time that I should rejoice and give thanks because this means that my breakthrough coming through those doors of my future are all the things I desire and I know that God gives the best to his children so I am sitting here in my faithfulness thanking and praising him daily for getting me through it while in the waiting room people stare and wonder what is she doing here? wonder what's her issue, but they look and see my glory but they do not know my story at all. I sit and I am quiet because that where God has placed me in a quiet place. So if you are in the waiting room in life right now just wait on the Lord because he shall renew your strength I am in the waiting room and sometimes when its quiet and it seems like nothing is happening I like to say even though i have no clue God is working every thing out for my good!! And now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen so wait on the Lord Wait I say on the Lord!!!
So ladies have you even had some someone vamp on you. I mean this guy didn't leave notice or advance warning well its been 30 days. I am like what changed your mind , why is that you want to talk and spend time now my friends telling me to chill and go with the flow. I am like really should I just chill its easy to say what I should and shouldn't do after you spent you last 30 days with your man. I have spent my 30 days wondering if it was something I had done was I too blunt, was I too laid back, I know I am the model type so what was the problem. Its good to hear from you but I still have alot of unanswered questions. At first I'll admit I was hella excited to hear his voice. I smiled and you could hear it in my voice but then reality set in that it had been 30 days. I am way to much fun,fine,sexy, sophisticated to just get benched. I am wondering who did you spend your days and nights with? Who did you invite out to enjoy being the center of your attention? Why is it now you want to get back into my good graces is this a game? I must admit I am not one for teasing my self so now I am pondering should I?? I know I have spent countless nites and days alone. I think of all the times I tried to text and got no reply! Your excuse baby my phone been acting up think of countless voicemails I had left you and didnt get a call for weeks. I am saying you could have given me a DAmn 30 days notice!!!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I have alot of friends whom i converse with alot and most of the time we talk and share personal stories recently I discovered something among our conversations and that was that its easy to talk about and around our issues but its hard to just be honest. Have you ever sat at home and evaluated all the wrongs in your life and then you thought on the strategies to fix them and got nothing yes I am sure you have because I have been there but the one thing I realize is being honest today we have so many Real people or those that claim to be but the hardest thing to do is to sit and be real with yourself I mean its no but you I totally feel MJ on this song man in the mirror. But how many of us can say we have faced the man or woman in the mirror the one thing about being honest with self is you open up and acknowledge the flaws from within you admit to the things you fail at or done. Being honest with self can bring you to tears but its sheds light on the cures to future endeavors. I suggest that we start being more honest with ourselves stop settling so much and compromising. Because I've notice the times I settled or compromised my true feelings for something or someone else when the shoe was on the other foot I always had to respect the truth so now its simply honesty first if I want a committment I am not settling for companionship. If I want steak do not bring me turkey lol!! If I want to go out I will not settle for a movie in if I want marriage you can't offer me a platonic relationship its time to be honest with our selves. Too many times we blame others for the wrongs in our lives but did you ever stop and think that maybe its could possibly be some things you did may its not just them and may you could change a few things to now its seems like I coming down on you but I am just shedding light my friends start today on a new path of searching within yourself and learn how to live long and strong, laugh harder, and love, love, love!! Peace!!!