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Monday, December 12, 2016

Going through the Motions!

Today is one of those days when nothing is really wrong but nothing is really right either. I am sitting here bored with work and yet craving another beach or tropical vacation. There is a part of me that just wants to be free you know just escape to a place where there is nothing but natural sound and still ness of being that surrounds me. I want it to be optional to go into work or stay home I want it to be optional to just be no rules!!! No because I have to thoughts just fucking go and be and do what ever appeases me. Believe it or not I don't have many days when I can do what I want to do! Its always what's best for everyone or myself alone. Or perhaps....

Maybe its the holiday blues or that funk some of us experience as the holidays approaches. Lately I wonder about so many things in my life I see my peers growing in their careers, falling in love, marrying, traveling, buying homes and creating families. I feel stuck, consumed, just in a rut!  I am sitting here at work with a cheap coffee searching the internet looking for answers on the who, what , where, and how? Some would say those answers are within me but fuck I got nothing?  Maybe Oprah can help but she's only going to reference a book that I will be stuck trying to figure when the hell to read it!

How is it some people have always seemed so sure of life and the directions to take. I for one feel as though these last couple of years I have been winging it! You know just going with instinct and hoping like hell I don't fuck up!  I really hope my seconds, minutes, hours, and this day gets better because at present I am going through the motions. I am not sure who will read this but I am sure you can agree that some days are just like this.  If only I could start and end my day with Yoga!!!

2 comments:

  1. My dearest cousin. I understand how you feel. I read book that help when when I was going through those same emotions. The book is called Waiting On God by Charles Stanley read it and be blessed. Karen

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dearest cousin. I understand how you feel. I read book that help when when I was going through those same emotions. The book is called Waiting On God by Charles Stanley read it and be blessed. Karen

    ReplyDelete